Fire God

Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on the altar and wait  for your fire to fall upon my heart. Psalm 5:3b Passion

Fire God

like a clock inevitably striking the top of the hour

in the dark before the dawn

i faithfully prepare

my offering and my sacrifice 

i carefully arrange the pieces of my life on the altar 

creating a masterpiece of glistening colors and shiny veneer

good works, good words

pieties, rationales

safe, virtuous, settled

all ardor, pretense and cover-up

behind gratitude is the sense that You are stingy with me

behind faith comes impatience with You

dark stormy shame

steel gray unfaithfulness

angry crimson selfishness

puke green greed

deliberately tucked elsewhere

hidden and concealed secrets

shocking and risky

but so precious to me

bubble wrap secures

illusions and delusions 

pride, fear

shame, anger

justifications, excuses

stripping integrity

leading away 

weighing down

bending small

keeping holy love at bay

trying to fit You into the God I would rather have

i wait

somedays gladly

somedays resentfully

somedays trepidatiously

entwining heart, life

with you, your purposes

fire falls

flames begin 

licking the edges of the altar

lashing against the door of my heart

leaping and lunging unexpectantly 

like navy seals on a covert mission

climbing and scaling the walls of my soul

my life

my sacrifice

nothing hidden escapes the flames 

nothing concealed withstands the heat 

nothing wrapped survives fires love

consuming fire

illusions exposed

delusions bared

consuming fire

you probe, pervade

insisting, demanding, incinerating

i yield

falling

a consuming Love is known